Carpe Diem

All signs point to yes, but he begs to differ
"They're the next senior class" but I don't listen.
He jogs, he shakes
Smooth in his quakes

He's the oldest young man that I've ever seen
The first one to make them mad in inspiration
He checks, directs
Looks back, corrects

He's worse than gasoline as he burns the satin crawled walls
Destroying the shell that everyone says this place caused
You can't fight power with cowards
So push out your chest and be louder

They can't hear you in the back.
It doesn't matter if the light's focused on you or not as long as you care.

Imperfect

I thought it was sort of cute,
the way you chased me all over the playground
How you pushed me on and off the swing
and jumped me in the baseball field

How for Halloween you dressed up
as a bride, veil and all
I dressed up as a superhero
ran away, cape and all

You were a damsel in distress
when you kept tripping on your dress

You kept trying to buying my attention
with ice cream cones and toy transportation

---

So there she was, telling me everything I never knew I wanted to hear. Those words and actions I'd kill for now (though killing should only drive it away). At first I drove her away, feeling I wasn't ready (story of my life). She kissed me on the cheek, and I didn't realize the meaning. What did I care? First grade was a time for learning how to tell the difference between capital letters and their small counterparts. It was a time for negative numbers, not negative issues. Eventually I unconsciously gave in, I think. It was attention and I wanted it. I pursued for the sake of pursuing, even pulling out jokes about her dressing up for a wedding at Halloween. I said, "Batman doesn't need a wife!". I think she grew tired. I tried kissing her at reading time, but to no avail. Maybe it was for the best. I would have been branded as something I didn't want to be. Maybe I'm thinking too hard about it. I do that about everything. (I say 'maybe' a lot, maybe). So as the years went by, I moved on and forgot about it most of the time. Occasionally, I would see her chasing this kid named Eric or him chasing her and would think to myself, there she goes again. Why isn't that me? Because I didn't want myself to be? Most likely. Though, to be honest, I didn't have such deep thoughts when I was 8. It was more like "There she goes. Hey the swing is open". I could deal with that. Now, I don't know what to think.

Keeping Track

Put to shame
Hide my face
From everyone but myself

My promises to you are worth more
than the ones I make to myself
The ones I break everyday
The smooth killer of insanity

I'm an organism
with a hole for a mouth
I can't control whatever's coming out

Reduced to the washed up cartons
I spilled on the way to the floor
Swelling prevents me from succeeding
With any plan I might have today

Concentration is a parasite
I can't afford to have
when the light refuses to
stop casting shadows of you

He called my bluff
on the king of my hopes
I never went all-in
I'm still broke

I'm still broken

Wind me up, turn me the right way
Wrong, you left for something
I couldn't grasp in my guts
Where it felt numb,
Thank you lidocaine.

Lytic Cycle

He's a simple little boy with a harsh complexion
He thinks that he's haunted with some condition
Something about not being able to touch your daughter
And feeling her through man-made appendages

See, the thing that hurts him most
Is not being able to get close
to the girl he wants to call his own
He just wants to go home

She's just another girl that there's no chance of
Learning about her feral incandescent love
Killing himself to use up everything she has
The symbiote he wishes to become

The room is sterile, is it too unbearable
to watch him throw a fit?
For soon he'll be engaged for permission
Performing super soul total fission

Breathing on the windows wasting his time.