I've got a monster in my closet
and it's attacking my skeletons
It's tearing up my unfinished business
and ripping up my socks and untold wishes
It's keeping me awake at night
Creaking the door open so slightly
Watching my chest move up and down
and tiptoeing so very lightly
I'm afraid for my wardrobe
And my perfect disguise
I don't want anyone to know
That I'd be naked otherwise
Here he comes,
scratching up the hardwood
I can see the fear in his eyes
Snarling and drooling perfect lies
Before I knew it, I threw a fist
In the fury of a masochist
Leaving glass pieces on the ground
Now that mirror is gone
And that monster won't be around
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
Sweet Dreams
It's safe to say
it's all the same
and there's no change
for a while
It's been you and me
and apathy
daring to turn the dial
Am I the victim of a limit?
Or a heatsink of self hatred?
Must I always see your face
When I lay down in my warm bed?
I'm still a little high on
what I had to say
11 AM fumes
are headed my way
This is where I fall apart
Inches before the finish line
Can't pick myself up again
and it's alright
Now see me drift to sleep
of hazy dreams
lined up in single file
Jump start my heart
it's hard
It's more junk on the pile.
Am I the victim of a limit?
Or a heatsink of self hatred?
Must I always see your face
When I lay down in my warm bed?
it's all the same
and there's no change
for a while
It's been you and me
and apathy
daring to turn the dial
Am I the victim of a limit?
Or a heatsink of self hatred?
Must I always see your face
When I lay down in my warm bed?
I'm still a little high on
what I had to say
11 AM fumes
are headed my way
This is where I fall apart
Inches before the finish line
Can't pick myself up again
and it's alright
Now see me drift to sleep
of hazy dreams
lined up in single file
Jump start my heart
it's hard
It's more junk on the pile.
Am I the victim of a limit?
Or a heatsink of self hatred?
Must I always see your face
When I lay down in my warm bed?
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Jester
Oh ahoy there, can you entertain me?
I've noticed that you're all alone and so am I.
Will you ring your bell and crash your cymbal
if I promise to provide them?
Where's your tone and where're your friends?
Where're your lone and load bearing friends?
Oh ahoy there, can you entertain me?
I know that you're all alone because you said good bye.
Did you know that I used to respect you?
But you failed to provide it to me.
Where's your tone and where're your friends?
Where're your lone and load bearing friends?
Oh ahoy there, can you entertain me?
I've noticed that you're all alone and so am I.
I've noticed that you're all alone and so am I.
Will you ring your bell and crash your cymbal
if I promise to provide them?
Where's your tone and where're your friends?
Where're your lone and load bearing friends?
Oh ahoy there, can you entertain me?
I know that you're all alone because you said good bye.
Did you know that I used to respect you?
But you failed to provide it to me.
Where's your tone and where're your friends?
Where're your lone and load bearing friends?
Oh ahoy there, can you entertain me?
I've noticed that you're all alone and so am I.
Running
I always wondered what baseball was and how it was played. One of the older guys back at the House had a box of cards his great grandfather had. People named Jeter and all sorts of things. He showed me them one time. There was a crazy number of stats and abbreviated terms on the back and on the front everyone looked like greats. He explained it to me once: something like hitting a ball with a stick and running around in a circle. Apparently it was a pastime and people loved it. Great exercise too.
I sure could have used some of that. What was I thinking, running away like that? The House was probably a mile or two back and I had no way of telling when the sun would be back up. At any moment it could rise and shine its rays through this not very dense forest and burn me alive. It was a chance I was willing to take though. They'd taken Casey and though I don't know whether she wanted to go or not, I was going to find her.
I found myself tripping every time my mind wandered off about her. You think I would've learned after the fourth or fifth time. Boy, was I a naive juvenile. No wonder they beat me and left me to die back there. I guess they figured I just would have held them back and slowed them down.
It was still the dead of night, but I didn't know if they were going to make it. That mystical miracle city seemed too good to be true. I didn't even understand why they wanted to go there. I mean, the House was just fine. Sure there was no where to go and it was boring as hell, but it was a life that could be lived. There was no need for this adventure shit. Why go off to find a place where there were other people? I was so confused.
Maybe my reasoning was clouded by hormonal thoughts. Maybe I was just selfish about Casey.
Maybe I didn't want to share, though it's not like I had anything to share.
I sure could have used some of that. What was I thinking, running away like that? The House was probably a mile or two back and I had no way of telling when the sun would be back up. At any moment it could rise and shine its rays through this not very dense forest and burn me alive. It was a chance I was willing to take though. They'd taken Casey and though I don't know whether she wanted to go or not, I was going to find her.
I found myself tripping every time my mind wandered off about her. You think I would've learned after the fourth or fifth time. Boy, was I a naive juvenile. No wonder they beat me and left me to die back there. I guess they figured I just would have held them back and slowed them down.
It was still the dead of night, but I didn't know if they were going to make it. That mystical miracle city seemed too good to be true. I didn't even understand why they wanted to go there. I mean, the House was just fine. Sure there was no where to go and it was boring as hell, but it was a life that could be lived. There was no need for this adventure shit. Why go off to find a place where there were other people? I was so confused.
Maybe my reasoning was clouded by hormonal thoughts. Maybe I was just selfish about Casey.
Maybe I didn't want to share, though it's not like I had anything to share.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Guns, Germs, and Steel
Is this where I finally ended up?
The summation of the human race had me trapped in a place where the IQ was measured by the money in your wallet, and by the looks of it, it was in short supply. The thugs continued to drag their knuckles as I tried to flow into the traffic as much as possible. I pulled my hood up over my head in an effort to stay warm and to stay cool. I felt that blending in was mandatory. Despite the psycho killer wild west of a world out there, there wasn't much to go on here.
I was hoping that Casey would be reminded of me at some point in her trek. I was hoping that they were safe. I was hoping she was still as free as she was when they abandoned me.
I knew they were travelling in a pack. Dogs in the front and back. They carried UV lights and a necklace of onions for the superstitious. I didn't know what books or witness accounts they were reading, but onions were only going to make you more appealing. It was the stupidity of those people that made me worry about Casey.
Tears started in my eyes as the cement dust hit my face. I pulled my hood up farther in an attempt to keep anyone from seeing. The last thing I needed was some short-skirted chick following around and laughing at my misfortune. The goal was less attention.
More offers for my body. I heard the whispers as I walked past each worn out, unused terminal: "Fresh meat", "What's up with the marsupial?", "Someone needs their hands held..." This was followed by hollow laughter and my harsh stares in reply. I was at a tipping point and they had no way of knowing the repercussions of my actions.
The summation of the human race had me trapped in a place where the IQ was measured by the money in your wallet, and by the looks of it, it was in short supply. The thugs continued to drag their knuckles as I tried to flow into the traffic as much as possible. I pulled my hood up over my head in an effort to stay warm and to stay cool. I felt that blending in was mandatory. Despite the psycho killer wild west of a world out there, there wasn't much to go on here.
I was hoping that Casey would be reminded of me at some point in her trek. I was hoping that they were safe. I was hoping she was still as free as she was when they abandoned me.
I knew they were travelling in a pack. Dogs in the front and back. They carried UV lights and a necklace of onions for the superstitious. I didn't know what books or witness accounts they were reading, but onions were only going to make you more appealing. It was the stupidity of those people that made me worry about Casey.
Tears started in my eyes as the cement dust hit my face. I pulled my hood up farther in an attempt to keep anyone from seeing. The last thing I needed was some short-skirted chick following around and laughing at my misfortune. The goal was less attention.
More offers for my body. I heard the whispers as I walked past each worn out, unused terminal: "Fresh meat", "What's up with the marsupial?", "Someone needs their hands held..." This was followed by hollow laughter and my harsh stares in reply. I was at a tipping point and they had no way of knowing the repercussions of my actions.
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