Sealed Off

I can't help sway back and forth
Exhaling empty air as I say your name
Do you exist anymore?
It's hard to tell.

Because I'm locked inside this sealed chamber. I don't know what's going on out there. Or maybe I'm out there. Maybe you're all locked inside. At least for the moment. It's so lonely in here. The walls have the same feeling, the sensations have the same effect. It's all for nothing. There's nothing left here. I'm not sure what to do anymore. I'm not sure whether to cry and let it all out or hold it in and pretend that nothing's wrong. Make my place in the world without a worry. But that's hard isn't it? It's hard if I have nowhere to go. There's a strange new place for me, as there is for you.

What is this? Is it all a metaphor? Is it just me being me? Is it another side?

Don't forget me. Don't forget that I'm locked in here.
It's not the same.

Don't forget me.

This Time

Spent the night killing time
Thinking about lost voices
About that time that I almost got arrested

Sitting on the couch
Where'd I'd been before
It's not the same, at least to me, anymore

I put my head in my hands
And wished for the best

I'm starting trouble and I'm not thinking about it
Tearing down brick walls that hadn't been there
Listen to my words this time around
This time around
I wish that I had been there

Is it my imagination
or do I see you standing there?
It's another problem with those late night affairs

Is it desperation
or am I considered normal?
I can't tell the difference between this and dismal

I put my head in my hands
And wished for the best

I'm starting trouble and I'm not thinking about it
Tearing down brick walls that hadn't been there
Listen to my words this time around
This time around
I wish that I had been there

All of This

I forgot what I was going to say
But its okay since I ran out of words
I left them where I grew up
So many habits I had to unlearn

Now it's been a long time
Since I've had a chance to listen
To the silence of my own good
But I'd trade it all back just to do it again

I don't have a battle cry
Or inspiring phrase
All I know is that you're the reason behind all of this

So I head back to the road
Leading toward my instincts
Really what do I need them for
Because none of this is written in ink

From Pittsburgh to the insomniac city
My head's against the window riddled
With common sense and a lack of direction
I'm relying on you to keep me up through this.

Midnight Special

Hurt from the lack of ricochet
Running in the streets
Not knowing where I'm going
It's territory unseen

Hanging out under the stars
The ones that don't exist
They're shooting, missing
Show me your wish

You're not alone
Even if this city's
not real to me anymore

You're not alone
Even in the city
So what do you need me for?

Are you home or not?
It's all the same to me
You could be irresponsible
I'd never know or see.

I'll never know if you'd repeat the words back to me
I'll never know if you'd be okay coming back everyday
I'll never know if you'd be the one to take me away

Will you come back around?
Will I be homeward bound?

Pacific Blue

I was waiting for the waves to wash over me
To sweep me to the ends of the earth
So my only worry would be the question of rescue

But would I really care?
With nothing to control,
there's nothing for me to do
but sit back and float on everything below me

The ocean is not dependent on me or who I am
It owes me nothing and does not discriminate among people.
It has no loyalty, no family to speak of.
It's earned its place, as I have yet to do.

So I wait, hanging by the whisper of the sea foam against my sun burned cheeks.

A List of Rays

Once upon a time, not so long ago
You had me at "ahh yes good song"
I tried to act original
Didn't turn out so well

Though some might disagree
Since it's been nearly three years
And it's been you and me and all other people (*ahem*)
but New York is so far and yet so near.

I remember when I cried going camping
Because my parents weren't in the next room
And now I'm afraid it'll be the same
When I'm a million miles away from you.

There was a time when my thoughts
weren't in English and my beliefs
were another thing all together
and based on your newsfeed.

But what does it mean?
Does it mean I'm coming on too strong?
When every word is written with you in mind?

So it's okay when I cried going camping
Because my parents weren't in the next room
And now I'm know it will be the same
Because I'm a million miles away from you.
A million miles away from you

A million miles away from one of my best friends.

Empty Drawers

[Draft: Feb 11, 2011]

I lent you my heart and you returned it in pieces
you won't borrowing anything of mine anymore

So can I have back my sweater, my hand written letters
They're no good to you now
Give me back my mixer, my copy of twister
You've got no one to play with for now

I wanted to say goodbye and get out
But you stole the words right out of my mouth

Before I knew it, my heart began to break in two
Just like waffles from the iron I gave you

My place is empty, you have it all
You stole my heart as well as my socks
Hanging around with those kind of guys
Fill my chest and my shoes with rocks

So can I have back my sweater, my hand written letters
They're no good to you now
Give me back my mixer, my copy of twister
You've got no one to play with for now

Leaving a Mark

True or fake on the day break
Watching the world burn on its payday

My legs cry out in pain
for sunlight or similar
The distance from my head
to the ground in seconds

I'm losing my experience
As well as my patience

The walls wash in the rain
and beg for history
Pawn the possibilities
There's no guarantees

Standing up against the wall
Not standing up after all

Can't understand, but is it worth it?
Over estimate?
I want to curse it

[Draft Feb 23, 2011]