I'm sorry.
I can't say it even though you know it and I know it.
I can't do anything about this.
I am that alert you're talking about.
I have to be.
Ever since I stumbled upon that something that I read aloud and you snatched from my hand.
It's that imaginary tension that I don't feel that's hurting me.
If anything, I have to thank you. I have to say that you don't deserve this.
I have to say these things, but I can't.
It's that tunnel we've never gone through.
It's that path we've never thought about walking.
I have to, but I don't want to.
We have all these plans that will go on.
You'll make sure of that.
I'll pretend that they were going to anyway.
On the other hand, this could all be a misunderstanding.
In which case, this is irrelevant.
That way that you put the words together like bricks.
With your hurt, the mortar.
I'm sorry.
I can't say there's nothing I can do.
So I won't.
It's not a choice. It's just that things just don't work out.
I've been trying to get myself to understand that forever.
I'm still stuck on it.
I'm still stuck in that same rut that you're still tripping on.
I know it. I've met it, introduced myself, and made myself at home.
Because I know what lingering is.
I just don't know how to deal with it.
This feeling is the worst kind of roommate.
It'd be so easy to unload and make a dilemma.
"Listen here: here's your ultimatum"
I've been meaning to say that for several years to many people.
But only a Sith deals in absolutes.
Call me evil, but I absolutely think you're one of the best people I've ever met.
Saturday, April 21, 2012
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