Palpitations

Not this state of mind,
Nor this state of grace
That I've imagined for my place
in time can ever understand
or exist past the imaginary
controls that sit at the front of my brain
like a pilot who has lost control of his ship.
Her ship
Their ship
A vessel and no further
A lesson to the accident that brought me here

Us here.

I can never say anything without hope.
Our relationship now relies on the hope
That one day I'll be able to catch up with you
In this one way conversation.

My biggest fear is that that is not true.
My biggest fear is that that is true and that I am not.

If I make it to the clouds and find you waiting
Will I be as elated as I imagine myself to be now?

I'm afraid I'll see it as I was worried for nothing.

Like how I get someone else to drive me to events
because I'm too afraid to park
but when we get there, I realize
that I could've just driven here myself

Suffern

Something is wrong with me
Can we test all the organs?
To find out the folly
With this human body

But I don't know what's going on
What's happening to this brain
And this bag of broken bones

Feel the roots of this nerve
Wrapped around my stomach
My eyes are seeing stars
More than several lightyears away

Among the shade of my eyes
Lies a permanent fever dream
Lies to my face on this side
Of the intelligent monument

Trains rumble through the night
Their passengers' fervors gleam
I can hear them through the blinds
All their dissonant temperaments

Forgive, Forget

It's all the same colors
Standing in a hue with a view
A rustic Polaroid
Thrown to the sky, why don't you come down

She's showing off her sweater,
Her undercover pleasure
It's been so long since she's been upset

Her friends are all her family
Don't turn around completely
Live and love and laugh and
Forgive and forget

Her soul is made of leather
Complexion is no better
Has she finally earned her independence?

Hyper extended family
Check them on the big screen
Live and love and laugh
Forgive and forget

She's a tenant of my heart
It's sad to say, she's here to stay
Never close, always apart
A falling out would make my day