Flash

Did I answer your call?
Did I imagine your fall?

I've come to your rescue
But you're not in danger
And I'm not your hero
Maybe I should leave you alone

I'm pissing you off when I say the wrong things
I'm wondering why I did it

I'm ripping you off when you say I love you
I'm wondering why you did it

Would you feel proud out aloud?
or keep it all to yourself?

With every emotion hung up on your shelf

Would you feel annoyed
when it all was destroyed?

And I was the only boy?

Juiced

I'm done, I'm out of it.
I'm tired of not knowing what to do and not taking action.
But instead of taking action, I'm done.

It's not worth it, it can't be with the way I think.

I don't ask for much in return, so I don't know how I'm going to survive the year.

I got off the curb on the wrong foot and that's the first impression,
another secret stalker and another stupid depression.

I know as soon I as I say this, I'm going to contradict myself and think it can't be that bad.

It isn't that bad.

But if it was, I'd feel a little secure.

My safety net is cracking.

I'm feeling a guilty hiss like one last cigarette.

Fade instead of walk away.

If I walk, it gives people to catch up.
If I fade, I'll have been gone longer than people realize.

I'm feeling embarrassed more than anything.

First Day

And then I lifted my legs up and started to glide down the small hill. Just that little speed on my bike pushed the wind through my hair. I hadn't felt this free in while. The trees rushing by, the hard concrete rolling underneath me. I always liked to imagine I wasn't going anywhere and it was the whole world rotating beneath me. It was a silly daydream, but I liked it. The skies were an offset kind of blue and the temperature felt cool but cooler with it rushing by me. I rounded the end of the basketball courts and started heading back towards the playground, pedaling faster and faster until the scenery next to me turned into almost a blur.

Today was a strange feeling though. Tomorrow was the first day of school in almost three months and I was excited, but nervous. Probably expected of anyone going back to high school. A lot people to meet, with a new class, and a lot of people to grab and hold on to after missing them for what seemed like forever. With these people, though, came the dreaded rumors and stories that started up every season like clockwork, which really pissed me off, to be honest. But like an injury report, these things were expected and taken into account.

I rode my bike clear out of the obvious part of the park and into the wooded trail, coming out in a clearing where I could see the beige bricked building that was my school. It was divided into two parts. The entrance was on the other side of the building, where most of the people came in. That's where the middle school part of the school was. Right out front where the parents could walk them in on their first day of higher end education. I started to imagine my dad dropping me off the first day of middle school, with my wheelie backpack on the ground, I headed up the marble sets excited like a jackrabbit. At times I thought I missed those days.
The back side of the school was the high school section. My section. There was a door that opened to the school store. It was actually pretty nifty. It had candy, school supplies, instant lunches, everything someone would need to survive the day. I knew a couple of the guys there so I cut through there in order to go up the staircase in the back to get into the school. It's nice having connections.

After the short nostalgia, I got back on my bike and rode back home, anxious about tomorrow. It wasn't a far ride to my house from here and by the time I got home, my sister was already trying on clothes for the next day. She was about to start high school.

"Hey Zach." My sis wasn't usually so high on talking to me, though with the impending doom that was slowly looming on her it was understandable.

"Hey sis, excited?" I hoped that those few words be enough for her to get what I was saying. I wasn't much on talking when events started happening.

"Yep yep!" I wondered if she would be as excited tomorrow.
"Hey what's your favorite color?"
"Um, violet, why?"
"It's blue now."
"Why?"
"Because there's this girl you're gonna meet and you have to be friends with her."
"Why?"
"Because, she's my friend and I want you to make a good impression on her."
"Aww..."
"It's not like that!" Even though it certainly seemed like it.
"Fine, I'll get to know her."
"Thank you."

I walked past her and the hallway mirror and into my room. I checked out my hair in the mirror for that split second and ran my fingers through it, worried about how it looked. I closed the door and spent the night alone, wondering about tomorrow.

(insthpired by a dream/daydream, though I can't dream actual stories, so if you want to know the actual dream, feel free to IM me or call me and I'll tell you if I'm free :) or if you're actually interested haha)

Dorm Room

I wish I had a little machine
that created genius from my crazy
Then all I'd need for eternity
Would be a little bit of you and me

I wish I had a little company
To stay up all night and watch movies with me
Then all I'd need for eternity
Would be a blanket and you and me

It's feeling a little lonely in Boston
With all my friends long gone
I sit around drunk at half past ten
Thinking about what went wrong

I wish I had an old friend with me
That understood all my crazy
Then all I'd need for eternity
Would be some food and a place to sleep

I wish I had acted on my whims
Instead of putting all of the blame on him
I think my thinker cap's light has gone dim
Because I started to doubt my bluffin'

It's feeling a little cold in the heart of New York
It's a feeling that's wanting to stay
Because without the thought that gives me warmth
I sit here thinking everyday

For Us, Traitor

When the time's all up, and it's all said and done
What can we say about our feelings?
Like all the things we said, before we went to bed
They're all back again.

I'm waiting for you, but it's all I need
To see that you're okay
It's a little weak, but it's the point of my beat
To see that other day

I'm watching the sun, rise up once again
In the name of our youth
It's that time when we live, to only give and give
To see that we're okay

We're sitting here, and crying
With all our excuses and our dying
Nothing seems to be here
But I'm still holding on
Holding it off
Holding out for you.

It's Inevidable

I'm gonna crash.

One day, when we're all dead and gone,
When there's nothing left for anyone anywhere

I'm gonna regret it.

So many people can't stand Hannah Montana, but there's just some kind of hidden innocence in the over driven guitars. And I need that. I need that secluded world where I don't have think about anything and the problem at hand is what to wear today.

It's at this moment in life that intolerance is at an all time high.
Sometimes, it might be better to forget about it and invest in All Time Low.

It's a little strange, I guess you could say, that
I don't know the difference between cute and creepy
That I don't know when to shut up but when I do
I end up hating myself and I don't want anyone to deal with me.

There should be nothing wrong with me, because there isn't.
For once, I don't really have to care or think too much,
But there I go again.

Crazy and delusional.

You've got mail!
Who could it be?
I hope it's..
No, it isn't..
(Answers Anyways)

Elite and incapable.

You've got mail!
I wonder if...
No, it isn't...
Nevermind..
(Answers)

Pressured and inescapable.

Hello World.
Hello Sky.
Hello Today.
Hey! How's life?

Life isn't a show, because people seem to have real problems.
Not that I would be able to understand any of that.

#92

Short Songs So Far

Summer of Runaways

Last chance before you run away, do you have anything left you want to say?
Anything you want to get off your Earth-bound chest?

Sitting in your dirt roads in midday, have your friends treated you okay?
Why do you sit here, breathing, taking your rest?

Nothing left to annihilate,
in the summer of runaways
the summer of runaways
If it was up to me, you'd be here to stay

Melting on the blacktop of the highway, why did you hike so far away?
I would run that way if it wasn't strange to you

All the thoughts that are running through are fake, I don't know which side to believe today
I chase after the detour sign, if it wasn't out of range of you

Nothing left to annihilate,
in the summer of runaways
the summer of runaways
If it was up to me, you'd be here to stay

------- *sigh* --------

Relationship Decrescendo

When the ball drops, and there's nothing left to say
When she knows she's hurt and he knows the same

When he signed his last mental autograph
And let her go up for auction

When she was running away from the contest
She hid behind her friends

----------------------

Mistaken Signs

I think I have a problem, I like you too much right now
While other guys are chasing you, I'm the one that's sitting out

I need to be more active
I need to start living like I live

When I'm around you...

I think I have a problem, I feel so happy when I'm with you
When you talk to me only, it makes me feel like I need help too

I need to be more active
I need to start living like I live

When I'm around you...

-------------------------

I went for the simple rhymes this time :P
Not based on true events, cept maybe the last one a tiny bit

Amp or Sand

A little play on words to start us off.

I think footprints on the beach are mysterious things.

First of all, they're not permanent.
They are as stable as a tower of blocks.
Right when you get a good look at them, they're gone.
They last as long as that girl you shared a passing glance with.

Second of all, they're not uniform.
They could be from anyone from anywhere.

A fisherman maybe? Coming down from Maine to enjoy the warm weather and relax?
A business man? Finally taking a break from all the paperwork?
A teenager? Getting away from it all and being himself?
A girl? Walking alone in the world after an argument with her best friends?

They all are different, but the same.

When you walk in their footsteps, you don't know exactly what they were thinking at the time, but it's a weird feeling following someone you'll never meet.

It's to the point where they could be your best friend if you wanted them to be.

Dear Mr. Fisherman, Dear Mr. Business, Dear Angst, Dear Trouble,

What's on your mind?
What do you have to say?

What's your story?

Are you feeling relaxed, happy, alone, confused?

Are the waves washing your feelings away like your footprints?

Is your shadow covering up the traces of you?

I always wonder if maybe I'm someone's temporary best friend

Oh no... here he goes again...

Wait wait! I know what you're thinking!

I'm just crazy, psychotic, disturbed!

I'd rather say curious from boredom!

I'm delusional! Mentally incapable!

I'll tell you what, I very well might be, but here it goes!

It's all your fault!

It's all your fault!

It's all your fault that I'm tripping my shoe strings
and why I don't blink and don't speak and don't breathe!

And why I tend to ignore everyone else but you
when you call and let me know you want to talk too

Where's the medic when I need one because I swear
My heart has stopped from your all your frequent wear and tear

I really hate to say it but I've fallen for you
And for once it wasn't on accident or because we're glued

So stop! You're messing with me and I don't like it!
But being the insane person I am, I wanna hike it!

It's so weird seeing you while I'm so clean
When I keep falling chasing you in my dreams

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH when will it ever end?
I've got your footsteps treading your way through my head

So before you stop me again,
Saying stop your grabbin,

Saying shut up!
Saying AHHHHHH!

Hear me out!

I'm here to let you know it's all your fault!
In a good way of course.

Another Good Night

I guess this is a rewrite of that one I wrote earlier :P
It's a bit dark.
--------------------------------------------------------------

And so she fell asleep for good.
She fell asleep with her head against the tub faucets and her wrists soaked with dried blood.
Her escape seemed so easy yet so unsure.
Some would applaud her bravery while others would scream coward.
Maybe she was in a place where finally her dreams would come true.
Where attention deserved was granted,
Where soul was more important than what was on the outside,
Where she could run without being chased,
Without pressure breathing down her neck.
Where the drama was a thing of fiction.

And while she flowed away in her dreams,
she flowed away in his.
While her thoughts lied elsewhere,
she lied in his.

He was laying under of the covers of his warm bed.
The unsuspecting victim of a strange taste she left in his mouth.

When she ran away to chase her dreams,
he wanted to follow her.
He wanted to be her subheadline in the morning edition.

Where he felt pathetic for chasing her,
others felt it was a lost cause as well.

What's the point in running after her, if she can't be chased anymore?

He put the razor down and turned off the faucet.

He felt a taste of jealousy as well as an understanding.

And left her alone to do her running.

Blue Eyed Blues

It was a surprisingly cold night in the office. The shudders let only the light of the streetlights in. Being as unofficial as I was, I had no paper work and spent my days and nights looking out the shuddered window for activity and excitement. It was another one of those nights, I thought to myself. I gave up on excitement and sat down at my desk in my green leather chair. Green wasn't my first choice, but it was cheap and being as unofficial as I was, I hardly had cash on hand. I was about to lean back and tilt my fedora forward when she walked in.

She was pretty tall for a gal, but better looking than the scum that comes in here usually. Her eyes were strangely confident as she walked up and placed this brown paper bag on my desk.

"I need you to do something", she told me.

Being as unofficial as I was, it was usually followed by, "and it's gonna be messy."
Not here thankfully.

I took a peek inside the brown paper bag hesitantly and my eyes lit up at the sight of the green in there. I should have figured from the way this gal dressed. Surprising sharp and sleek to be coming to me, then again I was praying for a surprise tonight.

Turns out I needed to check this guy out for her. Apparently he was doing some stuff behind her back and she wanted me to find out what exactly it was. Standard requests, though she probably needed to know fast, judging by the lump of dough on my desk. It would be easy stuff, I figured, plus I needed a new chair.

All I had to do on my part would be to tail this bastard for a couple of days, a couple of weeks at most. Routine for me.

Me and the gal got to talking and half way through the extravagant conversation, I realized I knew the guy. Not personally, but through a friend. I'd call her a contact, but that makes her sound too distant. I didn't let the tall gal know of this fact though she probably knew my friend anyway.

After we chatted for about an hour, she decided it was time to head off, and I strangely didn't want her to go, yet I opened the door for her anyway. As she headed down the hall and the front stairs I peeked my head out the door and watched her make her exit. Ol' Bobby happened to be sweeping his broom and walking by at the time.

"Another one, eh?" he said at me. He winked too, though with him that wasn't out of the ordinary. I never knew what he was truely thinking, but I got the gist of it.

"Yeah, Bobby, another one."

"She's a pretty sweet looking babe, I must say."

"Eh, I wouldn't call her a babe."

"Well what ever you call her, she seems like one to hang on to." I chuckled.

"If you say so, Bobby."

"You always have a way with words," Bobby said. We shared a smile and I pulled my head back in my office. Bobby was right, though. About her being a keeper and my lack of vocabulary.

I sat down at my desk and let out a sigh. I figured it should be time for me to get started on this case, and I reached for the receiver on my rotary phone. I stopped myself and froze there for a second. I leaned back in my green chair and tipped my fedora.

I'd get to work tomorrow. Or the next day.

Redundant

I repeat myself, you know what I mean?
I know what you mean...

Do you know what I mean when I say "I'm sorry"?
Do you know what I mean when I say "Alright"?
Do you know what I mean when I say "Nothing much"?
Do you know what I mean when I say "I'll talk to you later"?
Do you know what I mean when I say "I love..."?

Do you know what I mean when I say I can't do that?
Do you know what I mean when I say I keep doing it wrong?
Do you know what I mean when I say I'm just frustrated?

Do you know what I mean when I say it's a "match made on earth"?
Do you know what I mean when I say it's a riot?
Do you know what I mean when I say I'm slipping away?
Do you know what I mean when I say "matriarchy"?

Do you know what I'm thinking of when I say I want a "reset"?

Do you know who I'm trying to be?

Do you know what I think when I'm alone?

Do you know what I mean?