Pressurized and Decomposed

Standing out in the luke warm air is a refreshing taste of the sewer glass. He banged his head against the brick wall as he leaned up with his back against it. Drama. Too much drama. Not enough. Not as many breakdowns as a soap opera, but enough. Blown sneakers and broken hearts were left out on the pavement. Was it the way she looked up and gave that jealous look? Was it the way the blue always fit his thoughts and her style? If there wasn't anything left afterwards, why go in the first place? Cops across the street started to stare, but he didn't care. Not anymore. He sang so the commuters could hear. Fancy dresses let them attended one musical and run into another. He wanted to shoot himself for his animation and complications and frustrations. Now that his temperature hit the roof after she stepped off the curb, he wanted to hit the deck. The revolving doors were worse than russian roulette at this point as the theatre let out. Seven o'clock was the best time for this to happen of course. After traffic, after sunset, but before the cold set in. Maybe he would settle. Maybe settle wasn't the right word. Think of all the fucked up ideas he had before. Think of all the fucked up ideas he had with children in his hands. He wasn't lonely, but he wasn't the only one. He didn't know where he was, but he was there before. That same feeling of being left and not being heard. The brick wall cramped his style but he was used to that. What style? That silent style? Now his soul is itchy from all the imaginary kisses she blew him. Why was he searching for his soulmate in the hallways of sobriety. Who knows where they would be in a few days, weeks, months, years? It was connection but not true hope. His dreams change and reappear and disappear. The morning gives him hope but maybe it's not just him. The evening kills him but maybe it's not just him. No it's just him. Premidnight strolls around and he's left again. His fossil of a last impression probably just killed it. Ill-equipped with no advice except his own and his partner in crime, they wait. He waits.