Remains of a Fire

I don't remember much.
My mother says that at one time, I could go outside without having to worry about stepping in the wrong places. Any memories I had were lost in the ruins of what used to be the woods. Some are hidden though. Not mentally. I got mad at my past after thinking and ripped out a soggy shoebox out from underneath a pile of clothes in the basement. I almost wasted an entire lighter just sitting there clicking it in front of the photos. The only connection to the world before I don't know what happened.

That's what happens when you think too much. You do too many stupid things. Yet I still sat against the familiar wooden pillar. Holding the lighter before the world. Extinguishing it.

So I got tired with it. I got up. I'm glad that I didn't become crippled from being down on the floor so long. I brushed off my pitch black jeans and pushed all of the dirt off of me. I bent over and then stood straight up to stretch. My arms reached for the pipes on the ceiling. I yawned and then walked slowly to the staircase, the ripped pant legs of my jeans dragging along the concrete floor. The steps seemed noisier whenever I was on them. What time was it? I was always tired now, so it was hard to tell. The door at the top was made of wood. It probably looked very nice a few years ago, though it was now aged. Casey said it was lifeless. I don't think that. It's not lifeless, it just has a life of it's own. Just imagine what this door has seen. Alright, not that much I admit. I mean, it is the basement doorway and unless there was a murder here, I doubt anything interesting passed through here. Unless blood-filled garbage bags were dragged down these steps, I doubt this door had seen any action. Luckily for me, the doorknob was still in great shape. The rusted knob turned easily and the door swung open.

As soon as the door tapped the wall, I could hear footsteps running towards me. Instinct told me to hit the deck.

The footsteps came closer. I was hidden by a shelf but the footsteps were so near, I started to hallucinate and groaned. Then I sighed when white sneakers came into view. More than sigh. More like a silent cheer with an extra oomph. I looked up timidly, embarrassed.

"Get up man!"

I couldn't help but smile. Casey was the only one that made me smile. It made me look goofy.

I got up as if a general had called my attention.

She was so fucking cute, I was about to lose my mind. And so, I continued to gawk at her for about minute before realizing she was looking at me weird and started giggling. Oh joy, another thing to sweat over. I laughed nervously.

"So, it looks like you finally crawled out of the basement. Remember what daylight looks like?"

"I'm not sure, I might be completely nocturnal by now."

"Oh I hope not, the rest of the people are getting excited because Fox is putting a window in."

"Really? Aren't they worried about the sun burning up shit?"

"No not really, they think that their techy experiments worked."

"Yeah well, we'll find out."

We stood there for a while. It wasn't awkward, which was different. She was looking at books on the bookshelf, and I watched her look at books. Just something about the way her hair draped over her shoulders and the way the sweat shirt fit over her body just made me feel all light headed inside. I felt kinda dumb.

"Have you ever read this one?" Her voice caught me by surprise and broke my trance. I looked at the cover real fast.

"I don't think so." I hadn't read in a while, maybe it was time. If she was into it of course.

"I think I might give it a spin, it looks interesting." Goddess.

"Yeah it does." Lame.

"I'm gonna go see how they're doing on that window, but I'll see you around. Are you staying upstairs?" Flawless.

"Uhm. Actually I think I'm gonna go back downstairs. It's colder down there." What was I thinking?

"Alright then, catch you later." Wink.

"See you." Sorrow.

I turned around and walked the most regretful walk I could have ever imagined in my naive world.