fxfffgtegtegegegegegxdrx21re1e2frr23C5fwervrexa5t / (Silk)

dream lover so i don't have to dream aloneeeeeeee

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dream lover until then....
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yeah yef46h
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please don't make me dream alone....


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better off
say anything anything your heart desires1

i gotta get away 1f1rom1 1h1er1ee1.1.1
1
1say1 1an1yt1h1ing1 y1ou1r 1111h1ea1r1t 1desires

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rex

i cannot hlpe but find you're runnig around my mind
ignoring everytime i pass
let's make thsi thing lasttttt

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It's these moments that kill me inside. The ones that like you know it should work out. In fact you have it planned out in your head, and you know what you're gonna do and what's gonna happen. The ones where it would be a crime not to go your way. Of course, they don't work out, nothing can be planned out, and you never do what you say you're gonna do. It's why people are so bent on fortune cookies and Ouija boards. I don't know what I was doing in the first place though, so maybe it treats me right. I waited too long. I procrastinated. As usual. I won't get anywhere this way. It's better to get shot down than to fade away. Well, in someways. So now what am I doing? I'm wearing scents I had in ninth grade. Now all I can think about are old movies and puppies. I can't seem to find anything remotely entertaining anymore. That nervous feeling in my gut? A mixture of backstage jitters and anger at myself. I'm too busy looking for scapegoats and insulting other people. I'm such a dick. The real problem is with me. No one else really did anything, they just went on with their lives and I congratulate him. I don't say it's done. No, I'm the one that has to fucking point out everything and wait. It's when the chase ends that I have nothing to do. Now, love is a strong word. I say it anyway. There were times when I said to myself that, "Yeah I think I do love her." To quote an old friend, "It's lust not love." Not really an elaborate, historic, strong quote, but it's true and it gets the job done. It's what I think when our eyes connect because I'm too afraid to be the sucker who fell for more. It's alright though, there's other people, other fish, as they say. There's other things to do, people to see. Other...opportunities? I'm so alone because I pushed everyone else out of the way. Now, I kinda want to be alone. I want to get my thoughts together and set myself straight for once. I don't want to tell myself the same goddamn lives every time. I want to stop hating people when it's me. I want to stop harassing my soul with all these interests. I haven't tried or looked, but there's no drug in the world that could possibly help with anything here. No secondhand relief. More than once I've put my hand to my head and pulled the trigger. It just hurts that's all. It's not you, it's me. It's my thoughts and my jealousy that put me over the edge. I'm sad now.